Where to go from here...

So, after a considerable absence from this new blog, I've returned with a post regarding recent ideas and reinforced concerns...

Ideas
I still don't know exactly what's out there for men whose wives or loved ones are struggling with eating disorders, but I am becoming more convinced that there could at least be little more, and more directed specifically at men and husbands. Ideas that have been floating through my head (and I apologize that this post may be a bit poorly researched and somehwat inarticulate), are expanding this blog into a more "full-service" web-site, creating a quick-reference network/directory of area hospitals, doctors, support groups, etc., beginning a Washington, DC area (where I live) support group (advertising at area hospitals, counselors/physchiatrists and churches), and starting a non-profit dedicated to educating and supporting men affected by and helping women with eating disorders (essentially a combination of all the ideas mentioned previously).

Concerns
Part of my motivation for starting this blog and beginning efforts to increase resources and support for men in this area is my own need for help. However, another key reason is the limited amount of information for the average man searching for help, especially on the internet. The more I search the internet, the more I encounter concerned, scared, confused and often desparate men looking for help and receiving very limited help in return. One of the most common means of support are counseling sites where people can post questions and receive responses from psychiatrists or counselors online. While helpful, the advice typically offered is broad and rarely expanded upon. This is especially discouraging to find as the primary resource for men stating that strongly considering or even on the verge leaving their wives as a result of being overwhelmed by and having no help in supporting their wives through their disease.

In addition to this basic frustration, I've now unfortunately begun to discover and become quite angry about the fact that not only are there limited resources, but there is often bad and misleading information out there for men. My most recent example of this is a post I found while searching for "wife has 'eating disorder'" on Google. I came across a post in a Vancouver-based discussion forum. In this post a man shared his concern about his wife's recent exercise and eating habits--a fairly clear description of anorexia. In response to this man's cry for help, he received dozens of disrespectful and frankly ignorant comments. http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=182770

These discouraging realizations only reinforce my sense of calling to do something, however small, to increase the help and support available to men struggling to help their wives and beloved women cope with and overcome eating disorders.

Please help me develop ways to create and offer this support!

An Unmet Need

I've learned many lessons as a friend, boyfriend, fiance and husband to a girl/woman with an eating disorder. Perhaps the biggest lesson is: I need help helping her! Specifically, as a husband to my wife who struggles with anorexia, I have recognized unique ways in which I affect my wife and she affects me as we battle this disease.

As a result, I've looked for resources (books, articles, doctors, etc.) that may show me how to handle these unique struggles. Unfortunately, I could not find any resources (at least none that were readily searchable and accessible on the internet) which directly focus on helping husbands of women with eating disorders. Instead, I've sifted through countless books and articles which offer advice and encouragement to family and friends of women with eating disorders. While these are helpful and quite necessary, I believe they fail to address the deep challenges faced by husbands (or any man romantically involved with a woman).

So, I've started this blog first in hopes of revealing this unmet need. I also will begin with attempts to meet this need in myself and others by sharing some stories that may serve as experiences to which others may relate. Ultimately, I hope to connect with other men who seek help as they devote themselves to helping the women they love.